VolaciousNet

ALLOW ME to take the time to get my stories up to date. So much has been happening over the past few months, I feel rather guilty that all I’ve mentioned on this blog since November last year has been my engagement and its subsequent party! In reality, the past two months have been a complete roller-coaster. Allow me to explain.

Well, first up has been the career “re-alignment”. I must be careful at this point not to break one my my golden rules of blogging i.e. don’t blog about work. At least nothing that could be found by a current or future boss.

In essence, I’ve been contemplating my career and where I want to go next – like all good abitious Gen Y’s I’ve been planning two steps ahead in terms of where I want to be and by when. I have to say I quite enjoy where I work – however in essence we are 6 people, and staff turnover is so slow that I am still the most recent person employed, almost 3 years ago. I decided to take a sniff of the air around, and saw what looked to be a really good career opportunity with a prestigious global firm that would give me skills and experiences that would open so many doors. At the time I was looking, there was a lot of confusion in my current position and it looked (to me) as though my own job could get “centralised” – that was the spur I needed so I applied.

I went through two months of pain with a recruiter, 3 interviews, and actually ended up getting offered the job. Long story short – it got to the 11th hour when I was going to hand my resignation in, when my current employer threw the cards on the table and shocked me a little. It turns out there was far more to my current employer than I first thought. After much tossing and turning (poor Adam, he was so sick of my indecision!) I decided that it was better the devil you know, and stayed.

I guess what I did learn out of the entire experience is that nobody was going to look out for my career path but me. The next few months are going to be about me being bloody-minded and driven, moreso than I have ever been before. Well, here’s hoping it all turns out!

Anyway, that’s the boring work stuff out of the way. The rest of the time was far more enjoyable!

Los Angeles
Shortly after the events mentioned earlier, I was sent to Los Angeles to do some training. Unfortunately, it was only for a week and the time after it was so busy at work that I had no chance to stay on and look around. However, from my time there I can say a few things:

In-N’-Out Burger is Fast Food WIN. Only 3 choices on the menu, the potatoes are peeled and turned into fries in front of you, and all produce is local. Needless to say it tastes GREAT and is cheap as all hell.

Driving in LA is crazy man’s business. For some reason, I decided to hire a car, drive on the wrong side of the road on 12-lane highways without a map or GPS, and I didn’t get killed! Am so proud

Hollywood is a dump. No, really. They should be ashamed.

Going out in LA wasn’t as fun as I thought. Sure, having dinner at a 2-Michelin-Stay restaurant in Beverly Hills is pretty good but going to the bars afterwards – there’s just so much attitude! I found it really difficult to strike up a conversation with anyone – it was so much easier to do in London!

On the point above, I love their freepour. Just tip the bartender a good amount and your next Jack n’ coke will be 90% Jack. Seriously – the coke didn’t even turn it dark! Aussie bartenders are so stingy. Thank god I didn’t drive like I was planning to!

On my way over I was sitting at the boarding area (was travelling V Australia, so no Qantas Club for me **sob**) and I noticed a really hot, toned blonde boy who was dressed casual and listening to his iPod – looking so beautiful yet so Australian at the same time. I have to say I was a bit jealous! I looked at him and thought “my god – he’s about my age, and has a body to die for. Some bastards have all the luck”. He really had that toned surfie look, and a killer smile. I decided to take a seat in the boarding area where he was in view – I had to do something to pass the time!. I noticed some American girls also checking him out – then one of them jumped up and asked to have her photo taken with him. Some of the other passengers grinned and even said “man, some people have all the luck”. He gave a goofy adorable grin, posed with the girls, and then sat down, immersed in his iPod. Then some other girls decided they too wanted their picture taken – and I started to get suspicious. This guy DID look quite familiar – kinda like the really hot guy you noticed at the bar who you kept seeing when you went out places. That kind of recognition. Then it hit me…this guy was an actor! Indeed, it was Todd Lasance from Homos and Gays Home and Away who I had a small crush on in 2008. Blimey. I felt a bit better after I noticed him passing me on the plane to go sit down the back of the bus.

As soon as I got off the plane I asked Adam if starfucking was allowed. The jury’s still out on that one

Bathurst
In the past 2 months we’ve been up to Bathurst a fair bit. Really, it’s a lot more enjoyable in winter when it’s not so bloody hot and there are less snakes about. Meanwhile we’ve had a few enjoybale moments up there, including one experience when we decided to take the canoe onto the river and paddle to the other end of the property. Originally I had envisaged that the dogs would swim behind us, but I think swimming is pretty tiring for dogs and the poor blighters got very tired very quickly. Somehow we managed to get them to actually get in the canoe with us and stay still enough to maintain some balance. It was a Kodak moment – Adam, me and the two fur children, in a canoe paddling up the river on a summer’s day with a few beers. Heaven

We also decided for Adam’s birthday to entertain some friends up at Bathurst – one of the first times we had taken people up there. We had 13 people up there at once. I giggled a bit as they arrived – the big long drive into the middle of nowhere, the long rocky road down the hill to where the house was – they thought they were going to some place ala Wolf Creek where they would have to sleep on the floor of a shack whilst listening out for crazy guys with knives. In reality, we spent the weekend drinking and eating crazy amounts of food overlooking the river, including a picnic down by said river involving champagne and strawberries.

Joeyglide
Well, I went to my yearly gliding competition, this year at Narromine (near Dubbo, freshers!). I was too old to compete this year – however it was quite an enjoyable week! If nothing else, I quite like getting away from it all, going west and drinking with a bunch of people who are as crazy as I am. I have to say I was quite glad that since I wasn’t competing, some days it was nice not having to fly and just enjoying myself on the ground. One day it was windy and 45 degrees – a no fly day. So we all sat in the river with a few cans of Bundy and enjoyed the afternoon. Too good if you ask me

And now?
Well there’s probably a lot more to the last few months, I haven’t even covered xmas and NY, but hey I think everyone’s over that already. Currently I’m on a plane flying over the Tasman on my way to New Zealand, listening to Chopin’s “Fantasy Impromptu” as it’s currently inspiring me to start playing the piano again. Well, that and I need something to drown out that baby that’s been crying for the last 3 hours. Why they can’t have a “Family Class” at the very back of the plane where the engines can drown them out I don’t know.

Aaaanyway, that’s all from me folks – if you’ve read this far, me love you long time. This blogging thing is hard!

“SO HOW are you, apart from blissfully happy?”

This was the question Adam got asked many times last week at our engagement party.
You can imagine why – he’s got a house, fur children and bf, and now he’s at a big party that’s all about him, he’s showing off his shiny ring and the booze is free-flowing. What more for a boy to love?
**sigh**

I am never getting engaged again. Once is plenty enough for me! For some reason, I decided that a spit roast would be a great addition to a party – after all I do love my BBQ’s and there’s nothing better than a few beers out on the back deck with a bbq and a few friends.

Only problem was the scale – as the party got closer, the guest list kept growing and growing – all of a sudden there were 90 people confirmed as coming! (which, in Party Mathematicsâ„¢, means anywhere from 60 to 100). So a few beers on the back deck grew into a massive affair, organising food in lots of 10kg. Still, I like it. I don’t know why, but I am very sensitive that I be a good host, and really want a night to go off well and make sure everyone is having a good time. I take it very personally. So that means lots of food, booze, music, and make sure people are mixing well.

Overall we had 85 people walk through our door – which is quite an achievement considering our house is only modestly sized. 65 people were there at the time of the Great Feeding where there was 20kg of beef done on the spit, plus salads and bread and everything else. Once everyone was fed, I started to relax and hit the turps – naturally the fruit vodka punch I made up went quite quickly. I wasn’t allowed to make it as strong as I like to, owing to Adam’s insistence that I usually make it so strong it fumes. And as party mathematics goes, the 65 died eventually died down to 40, then 20, then we were left with the dedicated few who would enjoy the late night drinks and stay over. Hung over bacon and eggs in the morning for Australia Day. Excellent

I have to say though, Adam and I were very touched by all the people who came – we literally were not expecting so many, and with people from as far away as Canberra, Perth, UK and Canada. We got some amazing presents, and the messages written in the cards were very heartfelt and kind. I have to admit – I didn’t really expect it! The fact that people took our engagement seriously and respected us as a couple enough to venture out into the big bad suburbs to celebrate it with us was very much noticed and appreciated. I sometimes do get very self conscious that because we’re not in the ghetto anymore, people think we’re on another planet, or to use a True Blood anecdote – “Mainstreaming”. So for so many people to come – we felt “loved”, to quote Adam.

I think though in the future I will tone down the scale of our social engagements – dinners, Sunday arvo BBQ’s and other intimate soirees are far better for socialising than huge parties where the poor host is run off his feet. This year I feel will be a big one for us in terms of change and solidifying friendships – we are finally getting to a point where we can set up a “pattern” such that we have no more excuses to be antisocial.

Here’s to 2010! *clink*

The plan was as sweet as it was simple. I was to surprise Adam when he got home from work with the house decked out in candles, and then get on one knee to propose. But things never go so easily, do they? So, here is the story as it unfolded.

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I woke up in Narromine at sparrow’s fart, and drove to Dubbo for the early flight to Sydney. Upon arrival in Sydney, I hired a little Hyundai Getz and went to Broadway where the rings were to have been ready. Not long after I landed I got a call from the jeweller saying “awww sorry we haven’t got them done yet – should be done in the next day or two” – not the answer I wanted! In no uncertain terms I explained that he had promised them to be ready by Monday, I had flown down especially, and that they would be ready by the afternoon or I would be pulling the job. That got him going, but he could only promise one ring completed by the end of the day. Oh well, that will at least get me over the line.

I did a few errands during the day, did a little christmas shopping, and then picked up Adam’s ring – it was beautiful, exactly how I imagined it would look when I designed it. A titanium and gold band with an larger inset cognac diamond (flush to the ring), flanked by two smaller colourless diamonds and then two smaller diamonds again. It was elegant, yet masculine at the same time. I was quite excited by this point – I had been waiting and waiting for these rings to be done, and now the only thing stopping me was asking the question!

As for how to ask, I had bounced a lot of ideas off a lot of people, however the biggest part was to be the surprise Adam would get when he got home from work. He thought I was going to be in Narromine all week for a gliding competition. So I went to work, and decked the house out in candles, a few rose petals (picked from his own roses, of course!) – and waited for him to come home. Whilst I had considered many plans and ways of popping the question, I settled on something sweet and simple, with the surprise as the biggest element. I would wait for him to walk through the door, see the look on his face, and get down on one knee. However, what happened next turned everything on its head.

Whilst waiting I went outside to say hello to the fur children, and give them some food. At this point I noticed Shelton looking not very well at all – very quiet and not coming when called. I put down some food – he didn’t touch it. Panic! When a labrador turns down food, something is seriously wrong. If I wasn’t worried enough, I knew that as soon as Adam got home, he would panic and fuss over the dog (and quite rightly so!). I didn’t want the Big Proposal to be marred by a sick puppy, so I grumbled and figured that I would have to put off the big question until later. So I still waited for Adam to come home, I still had the house set out for a surprise, but there would be no ring.

He gets home, and must have noticed the flicker from the candles because he stops just short of the door, and suddenly my phone rings, presumably because he thinks someone had broken into the house! I sigh and open the door, which naturally freaked him right out! I say “come inside, it’s just me” and yes, he was surprised to say the least! I think I almost gave him a heart attack. I brought him inside and explained that I had a far nicer night planned, hence the candles, but we had a serious problem and the dog needed our care. So understandably he panicked and all attention was on the dog.

It was at this point that I knew that my plans for the evening had been ruined. However as Adam, Jasper and myself all sat down around a very sick and sorry Shelton, I thought to myself “you know what, there’s never going to be a perfect time. We’ve never done anything “normally” over the years, why should this be any different? I’m here with Adam and the two kids – this is our family – that’s all it has to be“. So I did it, I pulled the box out of my pocket, arranged myself subtlely on one knee, and asked him if he would marry me. The tears welled up, I think the poor boy was having a very emotional evening! He managed to whisper out a “yes” and the deed was done – I put the ring on his finger.

The moment didn’t last forever though – the dog was getting worse and we had to make the decision to take him to the hospital. Thankfully a 24-hour small animal hospital was not too far away so we packed Shelton in the car and got him looked at – they confirmed it was fairly serious and wanted to run a few tests as well as put him on an IV drip and monitor him in the ICU. Whilst comforting Adam in the waiting room I couldn’t help but look at the ring on his finger and think about just how surreal the whole experience was. I had just proposed an hour earlier and here we were in an animal hospital. Typical Adam & Gus! Wouldn’t be right any other way.

After paying a substantial amount of money (in the 4 figures) to the hospital we went home and enjoyed a precious few hours sleep before I got up and left for Narromine, leaving Adam to look after the dog who was reported to be getting slowly better. On landing in Dubbo, I decided the first people I should tell are my family – with mixed success I might add but the ceremony isn’t for a few years so there’s plenty of time to get used to the fact. They weren’t happy when my brother got married, and he’s straight – so I wasn’t surprised with their reaction about my news

I will put up photos of the rings soon – needless to say I haven’t seen much of the boy so far! Stay tuned

…the cat will play?

Well maybe not play per se, but get up to very G-rated mischief anyway.

I’ve found when I’m travelling, I indulge in all sorts of vices that I can never do when I’m at home. It’s one of the blessings, I guess. Watch television in bed. Drink a beer, watching television, in bed. Drink a beer, chat on the computer whilst watching television, in bed. Ahhhhh.

However my biggest indulge when I’m on the road is the long shower. It’s something we Aussies instinctively feel guilty about – however when I’m in New Zealand, the Kiwis know nothing of drought. And the hotels have huuuuuuge shiny showers, sometimes even with a monster sized bath! So I have to admit tonight I had an hour long shower, sat down and just pondered life, the universe, and everything whilst I slowly turned into a stewed prune. A stewed prune with a beer, of course

Which got me thinking – I must not be the only person to have a naughty little vice when I’m out of town – what do you all like to do when away from home, and in some way away from responsibility? Go on a chocolate binge? A drinking binge? Try out the local “wildlife”?

What’s your travel vice?

I don’t know whether it’s age, quitting smoking or just too many noms, but I’ve gone and packed on the pounds in the last few months. This is something I spent years and years trying to do, to no avail, then suddenly it all comes at once! To Adam’s delight, I now weigh more than he does.

It’s a blessing and a curse I guess – I really was too skinny beforehand, and many people have commented on how much better I look now that I have …filled out a little What I have to be careful of is that I don’t let it go too much further – now would be the ultimate time to hit the rowing machine / weights as now I have something to work with !

But … ewww! Exercise! I hear from so many people how “good” it is, but bloody hell it hurts when you start! I get on the rowing machine and before you know it I’m huffing and puffing and carrying on a treat! Where’s the dignity? LOL

BUT now that I have some … filler … I have decided that I wanna look hot for Mardi Gras next year. Maybe, just maybe, I might get to feel sexy enough to take my shirt off on the dancefloor.

Grrr those people on TV that use the Ab King Pro seem to enjoy exercise, always similing and no sweat! Maybe I should get one :p

A big WIN for Mardi Gras’ latest marketing campaign – flash mobs at Bondi Beach!
I watched this video, I have to admit it made me smile in a big way. Eat your heart out, Melbourne!

If my attempts at embedding do not work, the link is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao4DkbGbxl0

On my way home last night I ran across this little beauty and thought it deserved to be shared. Bold marketing campaign, don’t you think?

It’s not often that I get quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Apparently Sydney University collegiate society is a breeding ground for rapists, drunks and misogynists. Or so the papers would have you believe.

The first article appeared a few weeks ago by a disgruntled ex-student Alexis Carey titled Lifting the Lid on College Life. In what many commented was a “completely trashy piece of journalism”, one ex-student tried to paint the entire collegiate scene as sexist whilst publishing stories about “allegations of rape”. Many people tore into her, the stories from people attending college at the time told an entirely different story about this “rape” and the attitudes of collegians in general.

Now over the past two days there have been several stories across the front pages of all national newspapers concerning this “pro-rape” Facebook page. Apparently these students were “proud” of membership of this page, which I find a bit of a worry if true. However, this story was broken by the Herald’s “Investigative Journalist”, Ruth Pollard. Out comes even MORE allegations. More rapes allegedly occurred. Allegedly? Ruth, a journalist of your experience should know the dangers of using the word “allegedly”. I hear that allegedly 20 babies are killed each year by investigative journalists. 20 babies, Ruth! You monster! In an attempt to either save Alexis’ reputation or break her own sensationalist story, Ruth has broken a sensational story with absolutely NO solid evidence! We can’t even see this alleged Facebook page and decide for ourselves! How did you know about it ruth if it was taken down in August and this story not printed until now? What kind of journalism is this? Quite ironic, considering Ruth, as a leading member of the MEAA, stated that she was concerned for the quality of journalism after Fairfax announced even more redundancies.

The ironic thing is the most solid and non-partisan piece of writing on this subject came from the Nina Funnell, from the NSW Rape Crisis Centre and a freelance writer. She writes that the enclosed cultures of a college society can cause one to be divorced from accepted behaviour. She even quoted a comment I left on Alexis’ article, whether in a positive or negative light I don’t know. I believe she used my comment as a way to frame “acceptance” or “denial” of the alleged behaviour of college students.

So as a result, let me give my readers an account of my life at College, and why I view all of this with a bit of skepticism.

I went to St. Andrew’s as a very confused young man, actually on a recommendation from a psychiatrist who warned that I had to get out of the family home immediately or risk doing harm to myself (another story in itself). I, like many others, knew absolutely nobody and O-week proved to be a real baptism of fire. Yes, there was drinking. Lots of it. I probably threw up once or twice. I endured belittling from the older students (I was a fresher after all), and I went through the initiation “rituals” per se. Keep this in mind – at no time was I ever forced to do it, but if you wanted to be respected by the other students it was just something you did. You got over it. The girls did it too, quite willingly. My year was the first year that females were taken in as residents, and they were very much outnumbered by the males, but they stuck together and broke into the male “bastion”.

Yes, the college was very male dominated. I understand many weren’t happy by the inclusion of females in our fresher year, but they were brought into line by the Senior Student and other senior college figures. By the end of my second year, girls were very much the norm and accepted in college life. I too felt a fair bit intimidated by the sporting “jock” society initially, and initially I was closeted whilst living there. During my second year I came out, and did not receive the lashback I had been fearing. I later learnt that I was possibly the first undergraduate to come out as gay at Drew’s. Now I hear there’s quite a few of them, and they blend in quite happily.

This is why I find it hard to believe that it would have gone that far backwards when it comes to tolerance. Now st paul’s is still the only all-male college left, and known for being full of “daddie’s boys”, with the elitist attitudes that go with it. However I never knew them as being disrespectful towards women. Certainly not “promoting rape” as the newspapers would have you believe. From the sources I have heard from, the name “Define Consent” was in fact the name of a social soccer team. Peurile and immature, yes. Insensitive, yes. But that’s teenage boys for you (and most ARE teenagers, after all). Actually SERIOUS about promoting rape? Well that’s what the so-called “investigative journalist” really needed to find out. As for the alleged rapes – well I can tell you stories like that would spread like wildfire amongst the college community. After all, it is a huge gossip mill. And don’t you think this would have come out far earlier? Yes. I would love to see one person come out and say “yes, I was raped by X and THEY made me cover it up”. If it is true, then yes these people should be punished to the full extent of the law but currently everything is speculation and heresay.

All institutions have their problems. But they are not limited to just college life – binge drinking and partying goes on all around any university in Australia. To say college life promotes binge drinking just points out the obvious that any group of young students living together will drink. The exception is that a college resident who fails their exams will usually get kicked out of college.

I really do hope that this sensationalist, TT / ACA style journalism does not hamper the college community as I believe it is provides students with an all-round education, socialisation and support that you just can’t get anywhere else. Let’s hope that Fairfax picks up its game.

BTW Yes, this photo is from my college days, right after the rowing regatta A well-earned beer if I ever saw one!

You know, I’ve never thought much of Joe Hockey but his recent speech to the Sydney Institute labelled “In Defence of God” (of which an extract is printed in the Sydney Morning Herald made me consider that he may actually be deserving of some respect. I encourage you to read his entire speech here rather than the extracts.

In essence Joe comments on the state of religion in Australia (and the Western world in general), and how the essential messages of the various religions and being twisted and warped by literal interpretations and a “pick-and-choose” mentatlity to morality. Not a new concept I know but Joe gives a very succinct argument that I think that majority of educated Australians would agree with.

He is right when he says “The struggle to find meaning in our lives is one that is essentially individual and universal. It is also timeless.” – I mean, that is why religion exists, isn’t it? To explain that which we cannot, to give some form of meaning to our existence on this third rock from the star we call “Sol”.

I think it is very interesting how as education improves we do NOT see a move away from organised religion or fundamentalist bigotry, in fact people orientate one way or the other with even more zeal. Atheists too are coming under this heading, I recently watched Richard Dawkin’s “The God Delusion” and shook my head because as an academic he came across extremely biased, without solid proof of his arguments (which is ironic considering he is using the lack of evidence as proof for lack of God), and spouting what could almost be called “atheist doctrine”.

Joe sums it up very early on in his speech, with the statement “For me, religious experience should fundamentally be a personal one. “. Joe, I could not agree more. You argue in your speech that “For much of that history, poor levels of education and literacy did mean that it was the religious hierarchy that was the source of most religious doctrine. God filled a knowledge vacuum. If there was no obvious explanation then it was seen as God’s work.” These days of course we have the power of knowledge, of collaboration, we attend higher education and empower ourselves to think critically about all evidence put before us. We can determine our own core beliefs for ourselves and better empower us to disseminate truth from fiction, and better understand the meaning of the parable.

I leave Joe’s speech here to think about my own position, and in all honesty I find that no religion is right, and that includes atheism (which I now herald as its own religion, with its own fundamentalists). To be perfectly honest, it is completely arrogant of ourselves to believe we have the answers to why we are here, whether a God(s) exist, and if so which “God” is the right one. We can only disseminate the answers (and questions) available to us and make our own, educated decision. In that way, religion is very much a personal thing.

I have no intolerance of any religion, but I often ask WHY a person chooses that religion over another. If they have themselves thought about it and chosen that path for a good reason, then they have considered alternatives and picked what is right for them and I respect that. But if you follow something blindly, because your mother said so or because “it’s the done thing”, then I have no respect and think you deserve to be swindled by that tele-evangelist on late night TV who asks for your credit card in order to be “saved”.

Anyway, have a read of Joe’s speech. Quite enlightening for a Liberal politician.

Your thoughts?

One of my biggest misgivings about being out in the suburbs is being away from all the action, the liveliness of the city. Recently Adam and I have been a bit morose that our social life has been a bit lacklustre – mostly our fault I know but in a small way influenced by the fact we are no longer living in the city.

So when we decided to go out for a drink last night in the Cross, I was quite happy to get out amongst it once more. We had enjoyed a (mostly) enjoyable meal at the Victoria Rooms, and wanted to go out for a quick drink or two. But you know what? I’m starting to really wish I hadn’t.

First stop, Piano Bar. Nope, cover charge to get in, $15 is not worth it for 1 or 2 drinks. So we walk to a pub near World Bar, had a few seats outside in which to drink and watch the wildlife. The bouncer decided to make a fuss and ask us how many of us there were, eyeing us up and down to make sure the male/female ratio was right. Then there was the constant eyeing over of ID as though we were 14 years old and trying to pass off fakes. Wanker.

Tried to order a round. Nope. 2 drinks maximum per person. In a plastic glass. And can’t have it outside (as we had originally planned). DJ playing Ministry of Sound 2002 straight off the CD whilst 6 drunk girls floundered over each other on the putrid dancefloor in a desperate attempt to attract a teen pregnancy. Outside a bunch of “wannabe alpha males” were shouting at each other across the road whilst a few wogs in a kitted-out Hundai Excel yelled at a few drunk girls.

On the way back to the car we get heckled by some drunk bogans, and I couldn’t help feel just how much nicer things were in the suburbs.

It reminded me of a great plan I read about a NZ mayor wanting to offer bogans money to get them sterilised in order to reduce the amount of derelict bogan children in the world. A-FUCKING-MEN!