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Apt or Fit to fly

Browsing Posts published in February, 2004

Post – Monday, 16 February 2004

February 16, 2004 Gus 1 comment

Well, here are the photos from last night! Plus a few I took beforehand, I’ve been going a little bit nuts with my new tiny camera! It’s smaller than my mobile for god’s sake! I was good last night though… only out until midnight.

–>

Pic 1
My new headset for the mobile phone! Do I look cool? hahaha		 Pic 2
It’s Emma!!!!
Pic 3
It’s Davo!!
…Albeit a little trashed		 Pic 4
Sandy and Julian
Yes, a very cute str8 couple!
Pic 5
Sama and me
Just once i’d like a pic where I
don’t look trashed!		 Pic 6
Richie and Me
Awww… love my Richie!
He’s such a cutie! Thank god he’s on our side
Pic 7
Sam, the birthday girl
This is how you look when a
speech is made about your life		 Pic 8
Sam and Lex
Two best friends
You should see them dance to Moulin Rouge

<--

The party was overlooking the Italian Forum at Leichhardt, so got a good chance to see all the happy St Val’s couples down there. I wasn’t bitter this year. I wasn’t upset ‘cos I was single. I really really atm couldn’t give a shit. i’ve got so much going on… and yeah ppl have placed their interests in me, but I’m just not in the mood for it right now :-) Anyway, it’s my 21st tomorrow.. and guess what I’m doing all day? studying and stressing. Stressing lots. Exam coming up VERY soon, and I’m not prepared! House we want to move into.. well, let’s hope we get it. That will make everything so much easier. I’ll be back to normal on wednesday night! I promise! At the moment though.. just so run off my feet it’s not funny!

Bye too all! tell me what you think of my photos!!
*mwa* Gussy

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Post – Sunday, 15 February 2004

February 15, 2004 Gus 5 comments
The wireless works!
Heh heh. I’m now sitting in Fischer Library, attempting to study, connected to the internet over the wireless and the VPN. Very funkadelic stuff.
Been a fun few days.. yesterday was busy as… but I’ll note that down in a later post.

The important bit is now. I have an exam in 3 days and I literally canot make myself work. Something inside me is going “NO!!! I WILL FIGHT IT WITH EVERYTHING I’VE GOT!”. I mean shit.. it’s only 4 days untiil it’s over, and 3 exams. So why aren’t I feeling the stress? Well, I am, but I’m not doing anything about it! Grrrr. I so need to do some work. I need credits for god’s sake or i lose my scholarship!!! This is not going to be pretty.

Hmmm… am now sitting out on the lawn of Sydney Uni, on the main quadrangle, having a ciggie. Gotta love the mobility revolution!

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Post – Friday, 13 February 2004

February 13, 2004 Gus 3 comments

Mmmmm.. what a funny few days!!!

I GOT MY NEW CAMERAS!!!!
YAYAYAYAYAY
Well, as with all big things in life, there’s usually a good story behind it! I went to Paxton’s at Chatswood to have a look at the camera I wanted to get yesterday. There were 3 guys in the store, 2 of them hot (one quite hot), and the 3rd was anything but. The two cuties were busy with customers, so I looked all engrossed hoping to catch their eye instead of Fat Ugly. Sure enough, Fat Ugly comes around and asks if I need help. Maybe consciously or unconsciously, I become as difficult as possible, asking lots of nasty questions and wanting to know every detail about the cameras. Sure enough.. the poor guy was stumped, so the tall cutie walks over and asks if he can help. Yes, you most certainly can!!! Sure enough, talk to him about everything, and promise to be back the next day.
So today, I walk in, with mother and father in tow, and manage to talk to the same sales attendant. And then it started to click THIS GUY WAS A FAG! Only noticed when he gave me a few winks here and there and Dad says he could tell by his eye movements (My Dad Has Gaydar? WTF?). Anyway, my mother was absolutely surprised when I managed to secure a really good deal.. all the accessories were 50% off, and he even knocked a few hundred dollars off the cameras! Mum had no idea why, but Dad and I exchanged a knowing smile.

Anyway, the Camera is beeeewwwwdiful! I’m picking up the big Sony tomorrow, but the tiny pentax I got today is amazing! it’s seriously the size of a credit card, about 18mm thick, and can not only take 4Mpxl photos, but also movies, etc, quite fast! And soooo small it’s amazing! if that’s what this can do, i shudder to think what the Sony is capable of!

Check out these new pics from my new lil’ camera!
I’ve put it behind an LJ Cut so you dial-up ppl don’t whinge!
Pic 1
I liked this one.. shows a bit of motion in the right hand.

Pic 2
Me sitting on the bed, trying some different lighting effects

Pic 3
Out pondering by the pool, only lit by the pool lights and the moon.
I was amazed by the camera’s sensitivity.. it was soo dark!

Well, on other news, I sat down with my Dad the other night and had another big talk. He went and told James yesterday about his depression and his marriage troubles. Hmm. I’m waiting for it. James to come rushing in to “save the day” and really just speeding the process along enormously. James said he wants to talk to mum tomorrow. Of course, Mum has no idea what’s going on. She’s completely oblivious to it all. And beforehand it was only me that knew. James couldn’t know because he’s more of a Drama Queen and would blow it all out of proportion. And talking to Dad last night.. he’s even worse than I thought. The poor man is quite depressed. He’s stuck between a rock and hard place. It’s not a situation I ever want to get into. Marriage is such a dangerous thing.. when you make a decision for life, you really do make a decision for life! Maybe I’m glad in a way i’ll never get to experience it.

On the brigher side though.. I went and had a look at the prospective apartment yesterday.. it was great! Well, not a fantasy-land, but plenty big enough, nice enough inside, kitchen was nice, bedrooms were big enough, good security, everything looked a go-ahead! I needed to get a second opinion, so I wanted to get my Dad in, but guess who I copped instead.. my mother! She went in today when I was in lectures and had a look… I fully expected her to can it at the slightest hint of something she didn’t like “no no.. it’s horrible.. it doesn’t have any curtains”.. something along those lines. BUT she actually approved!!! So full steam ahead, get the paperwork in order, cheque in, the whole deal, ‘cos I’m going to fight and get this place!! And move out!!!
I am so excited by all of this it’s not funny. As Sarah said on the phone today… “I can’t believe we’re doing this! It’s so surreal!” I couldn’t agree more!


Anyway, I think I need some sleep. Gus is tired.. only one more day of lectures to go! Then exams! OMFG I am so scared by it all!
Ohh.. and should be meeting Adam tomrrow ( ) .. how exciting! I’ve been a bit slack though.. haven’t been able to return calls. Sowwy!!!!

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Post – Thursday, 12 February 2004

February 12, 2004 Gus No comments

Mmmm. Tired. Bed. Now. Update later.

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Now with more ear-splitting pain!

February 11, 2004 Gus 2 comments

Well, I’ve been bitten by the singing bug again. Curse that bloody digital piano.. I just love it too much! It sits there, and day by day I walk past it outside my bedroom, but I don’t use it. So today, sat down, got out some music, and had a play. Now, I’ll admit I probably don’t sound anywhere near brilliant trying to sight-read both the vocal and accompaniment simultaneously, but I did manage to bach out a few tunes. So I’ve decided I need to learn a new song to improve my repertoire.
It’s a pity that I don’t have the voice for many contemporary songs, I am a bass / baritone, and trained for 12 years as a classical singer, so I’ve got some unlearning to do. But I love it way too much. Almost as much as sex. (Ok ok.. maybe a bit of an overstatement! But you get the idea!)

So these are my picks… vote for which one you like…

  • Julie Gold – From a Distance
    I like this song.. of course, i’ll be transposing it down an octave, so there will be a lot of rich bass notes.. I wonder how it will sound with a male doing it?

  • Billy Joel – Piano Man
    An oldie but goody, but quite fitting considering that with all my songs I will be accompanying myself on the piano, Billy-Joel style

  • David Weiss – Can’t Help Falling in Love (From the soundtrack to Blue Hawaii)
    “Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you”. Well known. I don’t know how good I will sound on a top E, but hey that’s the beauty of a digital piano… instant transposition!

  • David Weiss – What a Wonderful World
    Well, it’s been immortalisted by Louie Armstrong, and massacred by Guy Sebastian. I think at the moment my voice is sounding more like Louie than Guy (it’s those blasted cigarettes)… but I truly love that song!

  • Dolly Parton – I Will Always Love You (Sung by Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard)
    Well, I have to say I have no chance in hell of coming up to the standard set out for me by Ryan as he sings this song so beautifully. But I really do like it… I’ve practiced it a little, and the version I’ve decided to do is a little different. Such a beautiful song though…

  • Julian Lennon – Saltwater
    A classic.. and so sweet! It is easy to play on piano too. Bit high range though.. might have to transpose though

  • The Bangles – Eternal Flame
    Better known as sung by Human Nature, it’s well suited to my voice… I think it would go well!!! So beautiful too…. I can just see myself holding that top note with my eyes closed, letting it ring

  • Shannon Noll – What About Me
    Yes, I know Shannon didn’t write it. He just did an amazingly good cover for it. This is a special request from Kurt.. he wants me to sing it at his 21st later this year. All very nice.. but the range could be an issue.. modern pop-stars have a range that pretty much hasn’t changed since before puberty.

    So anyway, that’s the list and what I think about it. I like them all, and can’t decide! Cast your votes now! Or, leave a comment telling me what you think.

    *sigh* if I ever get a bf, he’s gunna have to put up with my caterwauling.. poor boy…

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    Post – Tuesday, 10 February 2004

    February 10, 2004 Gus 10 comments

    My God.. Gus has been such a busy boy lately.. so much going on in such a short time! I suppose in events, starting from sunday afternoon, this is what happened….

    Sunday Evening, 6pm
    Dinner With Grandparents

    Well, this was one very important dinner I have to say! Yes, I’m not a big fan of my grandfather.. sure, I respect him and all, he’s a very successful businessman, but extremely conservative, bigoted and homophobic. To the point where it’s disgusting. Anyway.. that’s beside the point. He gave me my birthday present early. Was just a card, with a little bit of paper in it. Sure enough, inside the card was for:

    A cheque for $14,000 !!

    So thank-you Grampie!

    Sunday 9pm
    Coffee with Ryan

    Well, I decided it was time to prove to myself I was secure and stable again by having that ever-fateful first meet after breaking up. I was dying for a cigarette after that dinner with my grandparents, so I decided I may as well see Ryan again. Well, he’s still the same person. Still quite cute (he smelt quite nicely of Ralph Lauren Blue again.. trying to impress?), and very charismatic and chatty as usual Didn’t phase me though. I know he was still the same person underneath, nothing much had changed (and no, I never expected it would). As I said before… as a person he’s lovely… charming, witty, friendly. As a partner, it’s another story. And that won’t change for a few years I would expect.

    Sunday midnight
    Drinks with Dan

    Decided I didn’t want to sleep… so my friend from down the road came up for a few bundy cokes. Had a good old chat.. I’m looking out for him.. he’s not out yet and still wanting to meet people. I’m just glad to know someone who can drink Bundy OP in the same volume I can (modest as usual, I can down them pretty well). Left enough time for some sleep though.. and not even too much of a hangover!

    Monday 9am
    Website Update

    Yes, the guy I’m doing this website for has finally taken the time to see me. He’s finally paid me the initial $500, which was nice, and given me a bit more info, so I can finally get most of this website out of the way! I’m going to be sooo busy over the next few weeks.. I want to get this website out of the way and get the rest of the money! The colour scheme has been changed thank god.. is much brighter now and more appealing.

    Monday 11am
    Househunting!

    Well, went and saw this place at Alexandria that Sarah and I have been very interested in. The agent couldn’t come out and let me in, but I got a good look around. It’s right on the northern end of Redfern, about 300 metres to the south of Redfern station (so easy access to USYD and buses to UNSW. It’s on a connecting road, so whilst there is traffic, it’s not too bad. Some trucks, that’s about it. I can deal. Over the road is a park, and literally 50 metres (4 doors) down the road is the local watering hole. I rang Sarah and told her about the nearby pub.. she was sold instantly! So i’m seeing the agent on wednesday to look around. Somehow I have to delay him a little so we don’t have to pay rent until we actually move in.

    Monday 12pm
    Banks…gotta love ‘em!

    Went to open an account at St George today… after 21 years of being with commonweath, I finally have a reason to switch banks! I want the St George Multi-Access Card, so I can have a Visa Debit Card. Now, it’s not a credit card, because frankly, I could not be trusted with a credit card, and do not want to get into debt, because I know I’ll never get out of it! So this card works not only as an EFTPOS card, but you can use it like a credit card (Visa), except you use your own money. You can’t spend more than you actually have. So when i’m in Vanuatu, I will have a credit card! Also means I can finally pay for my Mardi Gras tickets (which I still haven’t got).. because I’m not game enough to ask my folks if I can use their card.. the shitfight and guilt trip is not worth it!

    Monday 1pm
    Davo…

    Went to see Dave. He was in an interesting mood… He’s been out partying for the past week, and it was his 21st yesterday. I felt really guilty that I didn’t get a chance to see him on his birthday.. consdidering he’s my best friend and all! Wanted to make it up to him today, but I think he was finally work out by all the drinking that he was doing over the past week! Like myself, he’s realised that Fun Time and Responsibility-Free Time is over, it’s time to get everything sorted out and achieve some balance in life. Still, always good to talk to him.. we always have a good chin-wag!

    Monday 7pm
    Wierd….

    OMG.. something totally wierd happened this afternoon. I suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, had a big attack of depression / anxiety / whatever. I found myself liable to getting very impatient, angry and became sullen For what reason though, I could NOT figure out. I just knew that if anyone was to cross my path and say something out of line, or provoke me in any way, then I was about to let fly at them. The smallest things were pissing me off immensely. I warned Mum about it.. explained it to her.. said it might be best to leave me in peace tonight. For some reason she chose that particular time to ignore what i just said and have an attack at me. The veins were popping out of my head, I wanted to tell her to “shut up” at the top of my voice, but I maintained control That’s what it’s all about.. control.

    Monday 10pm
    Drinks with the boys…

    I managed to remember this morning that it was Adam’s 21st birthday! He had been my best friend for many years, particularly at school, and of course, him being a pilot too meant we had heaps to chat about! Anyway, he invited me out to the Sheaf tonight in Double Bay for a few drinks with my other old Sydney Grammar friends. Sure enough… went out there, and there was Tongie, Gaz, Bob, Nate, Simmo and Kongie. And Adam of course. They hadn’t changed a bit. No new stories. Nothing of interest in their life. Their biggest claim to fame was that they were still living and scrounging through uni. They were still uncomfortable around me too. They don’t know how to handle me now.. at school I was much more introverted, insecure, immature and submissive to peer pressure, but now I’m the opposite. Well, in most cases. And also, they still haven’t gotten used to the fact that I’m a fag yet. Although i’m not the only one in my year, I think I’m the only one that is comfortable and happy with being out, and not afraid to be myself. Maybe it’s a bit confrontational to them.. after all, they did come from the same sheltered all-boys private school that I did. I didn’t mind though. I have my friends now, and have seen a lot of the bigger world. I’ve hardly seen them at all since I’ve left uni.. if they knew the things i’ve been doing and experiencing in those 3 years I think they’d faint. Discussed that with Adam. He agreed wholeheartedly.

    Monday 11:30pm
    Circumnavigation of Australia

    Also, Chatting with Adam, he’s planning an circumnavigation of Australia trip in the June / July holiday, hiring out a Cessna 210 and flying with a few mates all around Australia.. from Sydney to Byron to Whitsundays to Cairns to Bourketown to the Kimberleys and central Australia, through Southern Australia, Victoria, and back again! Is pretty exciting… he asked if I wanted to come along! He said it would be great for me to come, because at least I can take over the flying when he needs a break.. he can do the take-off and landing, and I can fly it enroute, giving him a break and a chance to sight-see. So am really looking forward to that.. it’s a really cheap way to travel all around Australia! I soo want to do it! So I have to save money now…

    Anyway.. as I said, i’ve been a busy boy. Need some sleep now.. must now be behaved until exams are well and truly over ! It’s only 8 days.. I can handle it! It’s 6 days until my birthday
    It’s 7 days until my exams
    It’s 10 days until I go to Brisbane , then Vanuatu
    It’s 17 days before I will be moving into my new place.
    Exciting times!

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    Post – Monday, 9 February 2004

    February 9, 2004 Gus 1 comment

    justin
    You are Justin Taylor. Cute and talented, if a bit
    of a brat, your persistence and friendly nature
    wins everyone over, even the elusive Brian. You
    know what you have and you know how to use it,
    and at times it gets you into trouble. You know
    how to get what you want, and although you can
    be self-centered at times, you have a good
    heart. You are a bit young still, however, and
    tend to get yourself into situations you can’t
    handle.

    Which Queer as Folk character are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

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    Post – Monday, 9 February 2004

    February 9, 2004 Gus 1 comment

    Hmmm. I’m counting down the days. 2 weeks.. that’s it.. then I’m skipping the country. It’really not that long when you think about it! I’ve got a ticket booked to Brisbane on the morning of the 20th (7am departure.. arrrgghh!!), and heading from Brisbane to Vanuatu on the 22nd.

    In the meantime, I must keep my sanity. This woman they call my mother has been in fine form today. She found my “I like boys” belt, and ohh did I cop it then. Apparently I’m going to get mugged and beaten up and raped because I wear that belt to oxford st sometimes. And of course, the belt cost $10, and how can I afford $10? Obviously I’m not ready to move out because I clearly can’t manage my money well enough. Tonight i’ve got my grandfather over, and he’s going to present me with my 21st birthday cheque of about 12-15k dollars. But because I bought a $10 belt, I obviously can’t manage my money and she should hold onto it for safe keeping. Does anyone else see something rather hilarious here? I did, so I laughed at her and told her to pull her head in.

    And in more family news, apparently my brother wants to talk urgently to mum and dad. Now, I never mentioned to James about Dad being unhappy or wanting to leave mum, because James is like mum and very pro-active. He would try and be forceful to “fix things”, and ultimately make life so much more stressful. James would get upset, so his wife Natalie would start crying, James, being pussywhipped, would start crying too.. oh it’s a sight to behold. It really is. I’m soooo outta here!

    Now.. I’ve got 8 precious days until exams. And like usual, i’m less than prepared. And there’s more riding on these exams than ever before. So Gus.. for once, you have to self-discipline yourself and get this out of the way. THEN you can party. Everyone will still be there when you get back.. you’re not missing out on anything. If that means a week of solitude, then I guess I will have to get it out of the way. THEN I can get stuck into the serious drinking! Anyway, gramps is coming over soon… I have to get myself all dressed up and str8-looking / acting. He’s a complete homophobe and conservative bigot, but he’s toting my ticket outta here. So take care all! Talk to y’all on the flip side :p

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    Post – Sunday, 8 February 2004

    February 8, 2004 Gus 10 comments

    Hmm.. I’ve been good! i’ve been working all night. Well, not as much maths as I should be doing, but have been doing a bit of work on the website I’m meant to be designing :-)

    It’s been a long time since I’ve done ANY HTML coding, so I am rusty. I would love opinions and the like, as I really need ideas. I’ve been given next to no info, but this is the general design I’ve come up with. I’ve gone for a minimalist approach… the KISS principle. I’ve done it all hand coding, so really i’m just glad it works! lol

    Anyway, here’s the link http://211.30.87.169:8080

    It’s just a skeleton design. So any ideas go for it!

    And just for my fans, I’ve got a little present for you. http://211.30.87.169:8080/muzik/
    I’ll keep it up for today only :-)

    Well, since I’ve been having fun with my wireless card and the SYDNet VPN, I’ve learnt how cool VPN’s are (Virtual Private Networks)

    When I was at college, I used to get free internet by directing traffic through a set of routers and proxies. I had a special shell account on the electrical engineering server, so I had a small socket forwarding program permanently running there that would listen on a port I specified and forward all traffic to my parent’s router, which would then forward all traffic to a machine on my home LAN which was running a proxy, which would then direct everything to the internet. The electrical engineering server was on the DMZ, so the engineering faculty would unwittingly pay all of my internet costs.

    But with a VPN, I could have just set up a VPN connection to the home computer, and used it just as if it was on my local college LAN! No proxies, no nothing. So much simpler! I decided to modify an existing Visio drawing to demonstrate…

    As you can see, the VPN would have been so much easier! I should know this.. I’m studying Telecommunications Engineering for god’s sake! Oh well, I guess that’s what i’m here to learn…

    4:50am. Time for bed.

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    Gus is gettin\’ some Johnny Lovin\’!

    February 7, 2004 Gus 1 comment

    This is the life!
    I was meant to go to uni today. Fuck that! It’s bloody hot today… why on earth would I want to go to uni? Instead, I’m sitting by the back pool, with a nice cold glass of coke with ice, and a cigarette, pondering with my laptop. Yeah, I know I should be at uni, but hey :-) Well, keeping it short and sweet.. for some reason i’ve been out at Stonewall twice in two nights. Arrrggghhh!!! What’s happening to me? First, on wednesday night, I went to meet this guy called Adam from Bowral (actually, Picton) who insisted on meeting me for dinner. That was nice.. ended up meeting two other nice guys at dinner.. was all a lot of fun. I felt very classy sitting on Stanley St in Darlinghurst having a lovely Spaghetti Bolognese, enjoying a nice bottle of Shiraz, overlooking the italian district there. Then up to Stonewall for a few drinks with the boys, and I was very well behaved I must say! Yes, I did get hit on, felt up, even kissed, but I went home by myself, and actually felt really good about it! Everyone was happy, I retained my dignity, and I was able to get up in the morning!

    Then last night.. I went to meet my good friend (str8) from school, Damien, who I’m trying to get to DJ for my 21st. Went to meet another school mate at Mars Lounge, and somehow managed to stumbled across a huge gay gathering there! Met more people, and naturally ended up at Stonewall again. A brief stop-off via the Imperial to see Leon ( ), and had a really good night out. Once again, decided to come home early. One thing though.. I was silly enough to accept a drink from some old guy.. hey.. I was poor and don’t mind the help.. but yes of course, he was all over me. Ewwww. So I made a hasty exit.. was a good time to go home anyway.

    So I’m feeling good. I no longer feel the need to pick up or do anything like that.. I want something more now. I was out at Stonewall… I simply wasn’t interested in them. Sex is so much more fun with someone you care about anyway. And i’m in no rush either… he will come when he comes :-)

    But most importantly of all…

    I am now a registered reciever of Social Security!!

    Johnny H Is finally coughing up!

    Yes, that’s right boys and girls, Gus is now recieving payments from centrelink for Youth Allowance.. Whilst only 220 so far, once i move out I can get Rent Assistance and Away From Home rate, which will double the income. It’s sorely needed too… I’m going to be cutting it fine when I move out!

    So yeah.. tonight I think i’m going for a few quiet drinks with Kurt in the city.. probably end up at Stonewall again knowing my luck! I like it.. just fun nights out with friends, no expectations, no nothing! This is the life….

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