VolaciousNet

2am this time! At least I’m getting a little better. Why is it that this time in the morning I tend to get all retrospective and decide to talk about myself?

It has sure been a hectic few days. A lot of time was spent finally getting my 21st invites out.. sending out emails as well for people I don’t have addresses for, and printing off spares to carry with me and hand to random people I run into. Because there are a fair few issues I’ve been thinking about recently, as per usual I will split it into sections to try and organise my own life through logical segregation.

Decided to come up north and see the folks. Well, it ended up being only my father, as Mum decided to go and visit my brother for the evening. Was good anyway, as I needed to see Dad after his birthday last Sunday, and before he heads up to Noosa tomorrow with the new lady Christine to see his sister for a week. Seeing Dad was good. Mum came home at around about 10pm, and did not seem to be in a very happy mood at all. I think because I was at home, talking to Dad, and appearing to take sides, that she was upset. It has now come down to a split down the family… James rarely talks with Dad, and seems to side with Mum, and I am completely uninhibited with Dad and show care for him, so I am portrayed as colluding with him.
So as you can see, the family situation is not a cohesive one. Then I get given the guilt trip by Mum because I decided that with all the shit going on, that I would work this Christmas. I mean.. hell.. it’s triple time on Saturday pay. That’s almost $60 / hour. The family situation is going to be so awkward… whilst I will spend time with them, I just have a feeling that it is going to be a disaster. I am currently in the spare room in St Ives, as I intend to go and have lunch with my brother tomorrow. Oh, what a tangled web we weave!

Wow. It’s deja-vu! All it took was two days without human contact, and I’m back into my old habits faster that you can say “weak!”. Did an all-nighter on Monday night, and my sleep patterns are now well and truly fucked up. I’m sleeping wierd hours, i’m staying in the house, and not taking care of myself. And the depressive thoughts are creeping back in! Of course, I see this all now from the third perspective and know what’s responsible. It takes personal strength, Gus, to keep this shit at bay. It’s just too easy to let yourself slip back into that coma-like existence. And my lazy side likes the easy path. The self-destructive path. Now, my friend, you have so much to keep you happy. A good job. Your own place. Best of all, a wonderful partner. The absence of face-to-face human contact is such a catalyst. Not to mention, keep the chemical balance in check. I’m not going to let it take hold again, and this is the time when it likes to strike. About 6 weeks into the semester, if past history is any indication.

Over the past week or two, have been chatting online with Dan, who I went out with just pre-dating the age of this Journal. (i.e. about a year ago). Until now, it had served as my longest relationship ever, and one that left me with no bitter memories! Our breakup was half and half-not expected… I think the underlying factor was that we were such different people. After the infamous phone-call, we sort of lost contact for almost a year after that. Until now, when he has talked to me again on MSN, and we have been getting along quite jovially! I have arranged to go and see him tomorrow after lunch with my brother for a catch up, and what he says, the “de-briefing” that never happened a year ago. I really enjoy it when I am able to keep on good terms with people I once called “partner”.

Arrrggghhh! The poor server that hosts Volacious.Net.Au is doing a Dying Swan on me! The HDD’s are starting to get clanky, the processor is hanging, the monitor is constantly resetting, and she’s randomly going offline for periods. I need a new server desperately. Naturally, I don’t have $1k !!! (yes, I can do dodgy deals and get a hell of a machine for that price! Helps if you know the gay mafia… haha) I also need to start brewing up ideas for the launch of VolaciousNet Pty Ltd and do something about registering the business name. All in good time, Gus. All in good time.

I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it in this hallowed Journal, but Adam and I had planned to go down to Melbourne at the end of this month for a well-earned holiday. Anywhere, really, just not Sydney. Unfortunately, the bank has decided that this is not to be. Simply don’t have the funds, and I would have to starting coughing bits of it up now in order to book places. As a result, we decided to save our money (well, some of it anyway) and instead of going to Melbourne for� a week, we would both spend a few hundred dollars each on having a Diva Day, where we go all out and indulge ourselves, and spend it all (on Adam, but he doesn’t know that yet! heh heh). And as for going away, we will go camping!! Perhaps just the two of us. I used to be a stalwart bushman not so long ago, and used to go camping at every possible opportunity. I still have all the gear, tents, cooking gear, and maps. Just gotta choose a place! High on the list is Myall Lakes National Park, which was absolutely beautiful last time I was there. Miles of crystal clear unspoilt beaches. I will probably cheat, of course, and use my GPS to navigate, but hey, it’s the idea that counts! lol
I really don’t care.. just as long as I get out of this city, and cheaply!

Well, that’s all I have time for, folks! Be sure to tune in later today for when I drop by the photography studio and pick up another one of the pics I got printed! And I will probably also spent a bit of time tomorrow morning actually catching up on the comments that I have been so slack in not making on other people’s journals! I figure that if I comment on theirs, they will comment on mine! Naive thought maybe, but one lives in hope!

G’night all, LJ peeps! *hugz you all*