VolaciousNet

See, they don’t all hate us.

A third of all Australians think homosexuality is immoral
Yes, it’s from Melbourne, but relevant.

HOWEVER, here’s an interesting survey though..

I really don’t know if I’m happy or sad that our esteemed premier, Mr. Bob Carr, has resigned as Premier of NSW.

Part of me is happy to see the incompetent wanker him go, but the other half of me is petrified as to who will replace him. Lord help us if it’s Carl Scully, Craig Knowles or Carmel Tebbut… interesting changes are in store. Carr was doing such a brilliant job digging his own grave before the 2007 elections… I only hope his successor can finish where he started.

Much has been happening in Gus’ World… for some reason I haven’t felt the need to write it all down.

Since my tax return appeared in my bank account last Friday, I enjoyed a few days of materialistic mischief and drinking, something that I could not afford earlier.

New Phone!
Yes.. I have finished my original 2 year contract, and am finally eligible to upgrade my phone! So I ended up at the Telstra Shop the other day, in order to replace my old beast, the Nokia 6385.
I am now the proud owner of a Nokia 6255, which has more features than I know what to do with. The good part is that it still has an extendible aerial. Yes, still on CDMA. It’s surprisingly handy for when you end up landing your glider in a farmer’s field, and you want someone to come and get you. They even threw in a bluetooth headset for free, a technology I’ve stayed away from (I think it’s a bit of a fad), but have now found quite handy. That, and it plays mp3 ringtones, which means that I don’t have to pay to download anything.

New Joystick!
Well, this is what I spent my money on. I love gadgets, being a good engineer, and I’ve found this to be a great gadget. It’s a Logitech 3D Force Feedback, and was surprisingly cheap… about 1/4 of the price they were 3 years ago when I was first considering getting one. As the store clerk said.. nobody plays games involving joysticks anymore! Except me, of course!
I have fallen in love with ScumSoft’s Flight Simulator 2004. I’m getting a lot better at flying the chopper, and since like Google Maps, Flight Sim 2004 uses a real satellite image underlay on its scenery, so what you see on the ground is what’s actually there! I flew over Sydney Uni, and landed on the engineering lawn, then took off and landed on the roof of a building up the road from me. I then hopped into a LearJet 45 and did a low-altitude valley run through the Blue Mountains, with a touch n’ go at Katoomba airport. Too much fun !

There’s other things happening in the life of Gus… I’m still waiting on a phone call to confirm / deny the job interview that I went for last Wednesday. I called them once, and they said I should call them again tomorrow. I don’t know why I am so excited about it… it would seem that I’m just setting myself up for disappointment. By being so excited, I’ve effectively jinxed it. Oh well, I guess I will find out tomorrow nevertheless.

The CityRail Law of Relativity

Standing on the station the other day, I was pondering the very nature and fabric of the universe (as one does on train platforms). According to Albert Einstein, we are bound by the base laws of physics, and whilst time is relative to an observer, it still appears to hold a distinct linearity and casuality.

Of course, if mankind wants to conquer interstellar travel or create ultra fast communication of information, we have to learn to manipulate time. We’ve experimented with Quantum Entanglement (Quantum Pairs) and we’ve pondered String Theory, a concept that has kept our most prized boffins amused for years. What we have failed to realise however is that the secret is lying right under our nose, in a phenomenon known as the Carr Effect.

This effect is most noticeable in the state of New South Wales’ public rail system. A recent installation of highly sophisticated and accurate measuring systems present on every platform displays in red LED’s the estimated time and destination of a train, with no reference to the position or velocity of the train, nor to its actual existence in this physical realm. A recent experiment conducted at Redfern Station showed the nature of this phenomenon to be quite alarming and true. The following observations were noted:

I think the results are fairly self-explanatory. There is apparently a complex mathematical equation that involves Chaos Theory and the Theory of Indeterminacy that is commonly used to explain this occurrence, but I postulate that it is in fact similar to the much-fabled Bistromathic concept, which quotes the concept of recipriversexcluson i.e. Being anything apart from itself. Ponder on this I shall.

I PASSED!!!!!!!!

It would seem my spin doctoring technique is very effective. Following a meeting with my lecturer, my mark was bumped up to 50, meaning that I passed and I won’t have to do that subject again! That means I passed every exam this semester!! Yippeeeee!

So

In other news, the job interview I went for yesterday went well… I don’t know if I got the job… I hate the wait! I’ll let y’all know when I get a call *smiles*

Anyway, I’m off to go have dinner and a few drinkies down at the pub… will have more to say later. Lots has happened!

‘later people!

Final results are in.
The open book exam, was a credit. It was a bloody joke of an exam anyway.

The one I was worried about… was a fail. 46.
I should have expected it I guess, but I’m still in shock. It means my exam must have been absolutely horrible in order to get that mark.

I’m tempted to say “fuck it” to uni, and go for a full-time job that I have an interview for on wednesday. Or at least just do uni part-time.

In the meantime, I will try and make a case to present to my lecturer this coming week. Unfortunately it seems as though Sydney Uni has done away with Concessional Passes, but I might be able to talk my way through.

I don’t know… am very upset.

I’m not sure if it’s the weather, or the uncomfortable beds, or just my restlessness, but this “holiday” at Avoca was not what I wished for. I have been getting more and more agitated, uneasy and disgruntled, rather than relaxed and care-free. I have been missing social interaction, and time with my friends. I just wished I had the funds so that I may have gone to Melbourne like I always wanted to.

Today is going to be a flat-out task of utilising the washing machine up here, then getting back to the big smoke. I don’t know what time I’m going to be back tonight, but if anyone’s going to be out on the town, let me know! I’m going to fight and claw back my social life.

Went for a walk yesterday on the beach… up to the rock platforms where the waves are still pounding in. Tried a little photography… what do you folks think of this shot???

©2005 A Stewart

Hello, world.

A recent post I made regarding the state of things has, I think, shown how much I am deluding myself.
The cracks of discontent have begun to surface in the past few days, and I’m realising that I am really not happy with my life as it is.
I’m not happy being a house-bound antisocial, too fucking scared that I’m going to go mad to realise that I am dying inside.

This life is not me.
Suburban conservative repression. Expectations and guilt. This pseudo life where I appear to be happy with my pretty apartment, shiny (well, almost) car, and perfect boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I like my apartment and my car. And I love and adore my boyfriend. That’s not the problem.

What happened to the days when I could happily toss repressed upbringing to the wind, throw beer bottles against the pavement and yell at the top of my voice in a crowded shopping centre? I am happy to take on new responsibilities that comes with age, but why does it have to have so much control?

I feel like I am now just an observer on my life. I’m watching friends drift away, getting on with their social lives and careers whilst I sit in the corner, with the big watery eyes, thinking “what about me? What did I do wrong?”. It’s my own fault… you people have your own lives to lead. I’ve become a boring, conservative old goat that nobody wants to talk to. Life’s rushing past, and I’m too scared to jump in the roaring stream.

Why is it that I sit at home, fearing insanity? I have all these mental health doctors tell me that I have a heightened susceptibility to be depressed, yet by acknowledging that I have become consumed by fear.

Well FUCK IT I say. I am fucking crazy, that’s what makes me me. I’m not going to hide from it any longer… if I get depressed, so fucking be it, I get depressed. I will get over it and life will go on. It’s time to leave these hangups behind because frankly, it’s getting me nowhere. I am an intelligent yet emotionally unstable motherfucker, and that ain’t about to change. It’s time to just acknowledge THAT and get on with life.

P.S. To my best friend who inspired this post:
I did get that message of yours, and whilst a lot of what you said deserves a good “Fuck you”, you can see that I’ve sat down and thought about this a little. My mobile has been on silent since last thursday. Bring on the Jaggard and cigar, my friend… I will be back in a few days.

Brrrr!!! That low sitting off the NSW coast is really battering the shoreline here. From our view overlooking the beach, we can see how huge the waves are, crashing and battering themselves against the rocks. The strong wind and waves have caused the waves to break through the beach to vent Avoca Lake to the sea, something that hasn’t been done for almost 12 years. Although bitterly cold and windy, I went and watched the waves break through the channel, causing interesting water formations including huge whirlpools. For some reason, it just fascinated me.

Was working last night at the football, in the corporate suites. Johnny Howard was in the room next to me. He really needs to wax his eyebrows, although the fact that they’re greying quite fast means that they aren’t quite as obvious as before.

Today has been spent inside, and i’m feeling frustrated and discontent. Being a Sunday night, there’s nowhere to go even if I did want to go outside. I’m my own worst enemy sometimes.

Here’s a photo I took about 2 hours ago. I liked it somehow.

Oh gawd. We couldn’t be any more married.

On holidays up at Avoca today, we’ve been shopping for plants at the nursery, where Adam picked up an Azalea plant and I bought a Waratah, which I have calledWally.

Wally the Waratah.

Also went shopping for beauty products and groceries. Now sitting down to the Simpsons, to be shortly followed by watching American Beauty, curled up in front of the heater, with copious amounts of chocolate, strawberries & fresh cream, and champagne.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.